black balloons.

She tried so hard to see through all the blackness he created
She was so good at blocking out the haze, letting the sun shine down on her face
He ripped away the rays of warmth and brought her back to this cold place
Until the lights went out and she slowly lost the difference between night and day

How dare you lean on me when I was so broken
How could you let me see all of the hopelessness
I was a baby, just a baby, and you took that spark from me

So she lies to herself, drawing sunshine and pasting it to the ceiling

He saw the world as a tree struck down by a lightning bolt
He would die before he would trust that it was anything else
She saw flowers and she saw rainbows and they were sparkles in her eyes
He couldn't stand it and he wouldn't stop until he had struck her blind

How dare you lean on me when I was so broken
How could you let me feel all of this hopelessness
I was a little girl, just a little girl and you took my heart from me

So she lies to herself, painting a hundred roses at her feet

She is running as the clouds are rolling in
He is yelling after her to stop fighting the world she lives in

He sees raindrops
She sees diamonds

He heard wind
She hears a song

She holds her breath and hums until the thunder stops
He shakes his head and she can feel him give up

He gave up

I just needed to lean on you when I was broken
How could you hold my head under this pool of hopelessness
I was a dreamer, and life was shining, but you stole that light from me

Now I lie to myself, scribbling words that used to mean something.

beautiful.

your fingers in my hair as i look up at you from bended knees

this isnt what i wanted but for a moment youll remember me

a teardrop from my cheek hits the zipper of your jeans

you promise i wont regret it and turn out the light

you didnt see a thing

she was beautiful

i said

as you showed me the pictures

it was a storybook romance

nobody said it could be fiction

youre standing still as the whole world moves on around you

i watch it pass by waiting for something about you to tell me now

youll stay with me somehow

midnight on a swingset

you push me higher than the trees

youre laughing and your smile is like fireworks to me

my shoe hits the ground and you kneel down to put it back in its place

when suddenly your eyes dim and something haunted hits your face

you couldnt get away

she was beautiful you said

as you remembered the pictures

it was a storybook romance

nobody said it would be fiction

youre running now but the whole world goes the other direction

i watch it pass by as i chase after everything about you

dont go now

stay with me somehow

remember that feeling holding hands under that blanket

the first time you kissed me, your whiskers against my necklace

she was a million miles away from your mind

until you pulled back the covers and couldnt look me in the eye

crying in the passengers seat my breath fogs up the glass

i draw a flower with my finger

you cant help but laugh

the petals start to wither like the daisy in your pocket

that i gave you in the hallway when you stopped to say

im sorry

that was beautiful

you said

as i pulled up your zipper

this was a storybook romance

it never had to be fiction

youre standing still and i should run the other direction

the world passes by as i try to forget

that she was beautiful

dont go back now

come with me somehow.

written by cmj.

dedicated to a mistake i made once.